Darkness into Light

Well we are into December - how this year has flown.  Much to reflect on when we reach New Year's Eve but so far I think I can say that 2015 has been a year of significant consolidation following the upheaval of 2014 and, now that I am living in my own property with my children staying frequently, life is so much better. I am really looking forward to 2016 which I believe will be an even more wonderful year.

This week has been relatively quiet - more Christmas shopping (a lovely walk around Salisbury's Christmas Market on Saturday), lunch also that day at Anokaa's Indian Restaurant with an old Friends colleague, Anthony, when he met Liz for the first time, and finally that day we attended the magnificent Darkness into Light Advent Procession Service in the cathedral.  On Sunday, after a family lunch at the Radnor Arms, Liz and I joined Penny Joyce and the Christian Community here at Old Sarum when we had tea in the Community Centre and discussed ideas for more Christian Events here.  A quiet evening in followed.

So far this week I've cycled into Salisbury a couple of times for more Christmas Shopping, and also visited my old Dorking office to meet up with old colleagues at a retirement do for one of them, Lynda. They will all be leaving Friends/Aviva at the end of the year. I painted a water colour from one of the photos we took up in the Lake District earlier this year and gave it to Lynda as a retirement present together with an artist's kit for her to try her hand at painting herself in retirement.  She seemed extremely pleased. I have started writing and painting again which is a sure sign that my dark days are over. Looking forward to going up to Humberside to see Mum and bring Thom back next week.  Still a few presents to buy and all to wrap before the trip.

Pre-Advent

This week falls between the Festival of Christ the King and the First Sunday in Advent when we begin to reflect on the Second Coming of Christ.  Right in between the Americans celebrate Thanksgiving (on Thursday 26th November) which also sees a series of special NFL games throughout the country.

Now is a time to reflect upon the coming Christmas season. For me, I was actually ahead of myself this year (last year I hardly knew it was Christmas after the turmoil inflicted on my life in the Spring). I spent several hours on Wednesday shopping in Gunwharf Quay, Portsmouth, and I am pleased to say that I managed to get quite a few items.  Not only do I have Christmas presents to buy but my brother-in-law, sister and daughter all have birthdays between now and Christmas Day - so more presents to purchase.

I started a really heavy cold this week which has left me feeling extremely debilitated and haven't slept all that well.  On Thursday the children's beds and bedroom furniture arrived and so we now have proper sleeping accommodation in the two double bedrooms as well as on our "Eyrie" third floor.  The new house is slowly getting to look like and feel like home but there are still a large number of boxes to empty. Mary is staying with me at the moment whilst her Mum moves into their new home in Amesbury.  Its good to have her staying. Seeing an old friend in town tomorrow for lunch which will be good and have a free Sunday - no service to prepare for and deliver.  Just hope this cold will go away soon and leave me feeling a lot better.  The one thing which doesn't help my head though is having to listen to all these crass commercial Christmas Muzak tapes in the shops. Drives me potty!

Into the Sunny Uplands

During the Second World War, Winston Churchill, at the darkest and loneliest period for Britain, announced that the winning of the Battle of Britain would bring the country from out of the dark valleys of despondency back into the bright sunny uplands. Since my last post in May 2014 I have been walking through a dark shadowy valley like that described in Psalm 23, but like the psalmist, I have kept faith with God throughout and he has brought me into the sunny uplands as described by my great political hero, Churchill. I have felt I have been in a dark tunnel but that, like so many railway tunnels, there are tracks which will eventually lead you out provided you have the courage and resolve to keep on them.  For the past 10 months I have been seeing the glimmer of light at the end of that tunnel grow lighter and lighter and now, ironically in these colder days of November, I can feel the warmth of those sunny uplands as I emerge from out of that dark tunnel. The future looks bright (not necessarily "orange" as the advert went) and as I write this in my new home at Old Sarum, I am feeling very optimistic about 2016 and the exciting times and events which it will bring. It is most important, though, that I continue to walk along those tracks put down by God to lead me to the destination he has set for me.

I would like to thank all my friends and family and followers for their kind support during these "tunnel months" and look forward to writing this blog regularly again  for their benefit and especially the benefit of my children who can read of my happier times (I have purposefully not blogged during these last dark months). In particular, I have to give especial thanks to my new and beloved partner, Liz, for the faith and support and love she has shown to me during 2015. I look forward to us walking along the tracks ahead together into that bright future.

Yet More Reflections

Yet more reflections today.  I am conscious that I haven't written up my blog since Saturday 26th April when I was on my residential course at Sarum College.  We had a second day on Sunday 27th which ended with lunch that day.  That afternoon Thom and I played some golf - he is getting rather good.  As this week progressed my life has changed irretrievably.  I am currently on self-imposed retreat at Champneys at Forest Mere, near Liphook in Hampshire.  Originally intended as a time for reflection about the way I wanted to see my ministry going. This morning I took Morning Prayer with myself and the words of the psalms and reading were a great help.  It is hard to see where God is taking me at the moment. I also recall the road to Emmaus and continue to hope and pray that God will continue to walk with me through all the times ahead.

More Reflections

Today is the first of two residential days at Sarum College as part of my ongoing Lay Ministry Formation Training.  all the students from all years met in the college chapel this morning for morning Prayer after which we went off into our own individual groups.  Today I spent the whole day on Session 3 of Theological reflection (Level 5) - a subject I really feel draining.  I have never been, by nature, a particularly reflective person but one thing this training has done over the past two years is to turn me into one.  Over the last few weeks I have done a considerable amount of reflection and feel quite drained.  Whilst I think it can be a help in trying to solve problems it can take the problem to a deeper level too and over analysis can be a problem.  Having said that, I think it can also help clarify issues and simplify the problem too - its such a pity that the process is so complicated!  In spending today and tomorrow here at Sarum College, I have missed one of the best football games at St. Mary's this year - Saints v. Everton.  Sara took Thom and his friend Callum into Southampton and Callum sat in my seat.  It was really good for him to take a friend and with a 2-0 win over Everton, it was a really good day out for them.  Tonight I spoke briefly to Sara on the telephone before going down to the bar for a few glasses of wine with fellow students - two of whom are having problems themselves in their parishes.  A good night of chin-wagging which helped us all.  I think that the evening in the bar is, without doubt, the highlight of the weekend and, as Sara has said, where most work gets done!

Al Murray's view on the Sexes!

On duty at Alabare this morning but before going I popped into Parkwood to use the pool and steam room - I had intended to use the gym and swim but time didn't really allow for this.  My time at the Drop-In Centre was a bit restricted today as I had to be back home to change into my dinner suit to attend a Masonic dinner at Highworth, north of Swindon - in fact, Highworth is the most northerly of all the Masonic centres in Wiltshire Province.  The weather today was pretty dire - heavy rain this afternoon and the journey to Highworth was appalling. I was trapped in a long queue (for one mile) entering Marlborough and again at the interchange with the M4.  I have, however, found a way of avoiding that interchange by following some cars which seemed to know a short cut and with helpful confirmation from my SatNav I was able to get onto the A419 with relative ease.  I arrived in Highworth with about ten minutes to go before the meeting but then got hopelessly lost on a housing estate with endless (well in fact they did end!) cul-de-sacs and eventually arrived at the venue five minutes late.  It seemed, however, that two important members of the Provincial Team had also had similar problems and so I was able to enter the lodge room ahead of the main event of the evening starting - the installation of a new worshipful master. The meeting was being held at a Community Centre which was itself a labrynth of rooms and corridors.  A good meeting with an excellent roast lamb dinner to follow.  I sat with a number of other reigning masters and had a good night.  The journey home was quicker than going although I did meet with fog as I got nearer to Andover and arrived home at around 11.15 p.m.  Sara and I stayed up to watch Al Murray sermonising on the differences between women (X) and men (Y).  X apparently signifies mystery, the unknown, etc. whereas for men the Y signifies WHY!!!!!????  Despite the colourful language, I thought his explanation and exposition of the differences between men and women very true (as well as amusing!)    

Food Poverty

I didn't sleep at all well last night - so many things running through my mind - and feeling very under the weather.  I took Thom to The Wallops at the later time of 9.15 a.m. and spent the morning at home doing on jobs like weeding the front drive - the weeds have shot up with the alternating rain and warm weather. Sara went into work for most of the day.  This lunchtime (1pm - 3 pm) I attended a meeting at the Salisbury Conservative Constituency Office with a representative of Church Action on Poverty and representatives of the other faith groups in the city to discuss a proposed Inquiry into food poverty in the UK - to be looked at specifically in various places including Salisbury.  An important event which will need much planning. As the chaplain to the Albare Place drop in centre I have been asked to be involved in the process and will be pleased to help - although today with lack of sleep I do not feel as enthused as I might otherwise have been.  I drove Doug G and myself down to Bournemouth this evening to attend the Sarum Night meeting of Boscombe Lodge No. 2158 where they had a live First Degree Ceremony.  Being the closest meeting day to St. George's Day we had the usual themed dinner (and same food) which consisted of Fiery Broth (oxtail soup with chillis), steak and ale pie, bread and butter pudding with clotted cream and cheese and biscuits.  I left a good deal of the soup and removed the pie crust from the steak and ale pie.  I resisted the clotted cream and didn't touch the cheese tonight. Such a contrast (leaving food) after attending a meeting about food poverty earlier today.  I was so tired this evening that I actually dropped off in the meeting itself.  I arrived back home at 11 p.m. and Sara and I watched a programme on Monty Python during which she also nodded off.  I need to good night's sleep tonight in order to feel better as I really feel tired and low tonight.